Friday, March 31, 2006

The Story of a Shoe

A man and a woman were dating.
She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly
pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had
never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down
the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.

"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play
a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit
you drive, I"ll remove one piece of clothing.

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling
faster than he ever had before, he became very excited
and lost control of the car. He veered off the road,
went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend
was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him
free but alas he was stuck.

"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have
anything to cover myself with!" she replied.

The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,"
he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over
to hear her story.

"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and
I can't pull him out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs
replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he'a a goner!"

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Claude Monet, his Flowers, his Paintings

Flowers! I love flowers! I love them for their colours.
I love them for their different shapes and sizes and
I love them for the cheer they bring. I mean look at the
ones here in Pandabonium's post or in Robin's. Don't you
just love flowers?! No? Awwww....just too bad. Anyway,
just stay awhile and enjoy these lovely pictures of flowers
in Claude Monet's gardens and a few of his beautiful paintings.
(I probably could be shot (metaphorically) for posting so
many pictures but I just couldn't help it - I didn't know
where to stop as they're all so gorgeous.) For names of the
flowers, you can visit their sites listed below.

These are a few of Monet's beautiful paintings. It is
not difficult to see where Monet got his inspiration from.

Water Lily pond in Giverny
Garden at Sainte Adresse

Rock Arch West of Etretat

Irises in Monet s Garden

Monet, Claude (b. Nov. 14, 1840, Paris, Fr.--d. Dec. 5, 1926, Giverny)
French painter, initiator, leader, and unswerving advocate of the Impressionist style. He is regarded as the archetypal Impressionist in that his devotion to the ideals of the movement was unwavering throughout his long career, and it is fitting that one of his pictures--Impression: Sunrise (Musée Marmottan, Paris; 1872)--gave the group his name.

The impressionist style of painting is characterized chiefly by concentration on the general impression produced by a scene or object and the use of unmixed primary colors and small strokes to simulate actual reflected light.

Did you know that
Pure black is rarely used by the impressionist painters. Monet obtained an appearence of black by combining several colors : blues, greens and reds. He eliminated almost completely black from his painting, even in the shadows. In the Red Boats, Argenteuil, shadows are purple.

Avoiding black was so deeply anchored in Monet's manner that when he died, his friend Georges Clemenceau would not stand the black sheet covering the coffin. He exclaimed : "No ! No black for Monet !" and replaced it by a flowered material.


1. Claude Monet Life and Art
2. Claude Monet's garden at Giverny>

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Is heaven and hell a state of mind? What about being
rich or poor? Or even being happy or sad?

Is the glass half-full or half-empty? It's really
interesting how one looks at life and situations.
Do we sweat the small stuff?

If you think you're getting the short-end of the stick,
just take out pen and paper and list down all the things
you're thankful for and the things you think you're
being short-changed. You would be amazed.

I guess my colleague's friend would never be able
to do that as at twenty-nine, he passed away yesterday.
He collapsed after a game of badminton, was in ICU for
two days and didn't regain consciousness.
May he rest in peace.

They say life is short. 'Short' is relative. I say
life is precious. We need to be treasuring every moment
that we have - either to live the life we want or for the
betterment or comfort of another.

Make every moment or every marble count for ourselves
or for others because we never know when it's going
to be our last. Live life like there's no tomorrow.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Life's Lessons

This one says
"Choose your friends by their character and
your socks by their colour. Choosing your socks by their
character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their
colour is unthinkable. -- Anon

Source: Unknown

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A Crabby Old Woman

Such a beautiful and moving piece.

Lest we forget

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital
near Dundee, Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left
of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions,
they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the
staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the
hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland.

The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the
Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland
Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been
made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old
Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the
author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet:

A Crabby Old Woman

What do you see, nurses?
What do you see?
What are you thinking
When you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman,
Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit,
With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food
And makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice
The things that you do,
And forever is losing
A stocking or shoe?

Who, resisting or not,
Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding,
The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse,
You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am
As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding,
As I eat at your will.

I'm a small ch ild of ten
With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters,
Who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen
With wings on her feet
Dreaming that soon now
A lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty,
My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows
That I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide
And a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty,
My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other
With ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons
Have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me
To see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more,
Babies play round my knee,
Again we know children,
My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead,
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing
Young of their own,
And I think of the years
And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman
And nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age
Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles,
Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again,
My battered heart swells.

I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living
Life over again.

I think of the years
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
That nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people,
Open and see,
Not a crabby old woman;
Look closer . . . see ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who
you might brush aside without looking at the young soul
within . . we will all, one day, be there, too!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Groundhog Day

Watched this 1993 movie "Groundhog Day" on TV over the weekend. This is an inspiring story. It's about a weather man played by Bill Murray being reluctantly sent to cover a story about a weather forecasting "rat" (as he calls it).

This is his fourth year on the story, and he makes no effort to hide his frustration. On awaking the 'following' day he discovers that it's Groundhog Day again, and again, and again which means he wakes up every morning at six, awakened by the same radio alarm playing the same song.

First he uses this to his advantage, then comes the realisation
that he is doomed to spend the rest of eternity in the same
place, seeing the same people do the same thing EVERY day.

It seems he's having the worst day of his life... over, and over...
until he starts to use it to his advantage. He uses it to woo
the lady (played by Andie MacDowell) he's attracted to. As
everyday progresses, he learns to be a step ahead of her,
knowing the things she likes (he's been there, remember?) and
in the process improving their relationship.

He also starts to change his life to make positive changes
in other people's life. He schedules his day to run errands
he calls it, timing his activities to put things right for others,
for example, he happens to be there when the boy falls from the
tree - he catches him just in time. He happens to be there when
the homeless man needs food. He happens to be there when the
ladies need a tyre changed or he happens to be there to help a
choking man. With each passing day, he becomes more appreciated
by the people around him. He even learns to play the piano
superbly surprising his lady love.

Well, romantic tales predictably end on a positive note. This one
does too as one day, he wakes up and finds that it's a brand
new day.

Heaven forbid, but what if one day you wake up and find that
you're stuck with living the same day over and over again.
What would you do? How would you live it?

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Hang the Noose

On the Frontpage of the New Straits Times today....

Hang the noose
Abolish the death penalty?

by Anis Ibrahim


KUALA LUMPUR: A total of 359 people have been hanged since 1970. Many of them trafficked in drugs, some of them like notorious bomoh Mona Fandey were involved in murders and a number committed firearms robberies.

Malaysia is one of 76 countries in the world where the death penalty is still part of the law-and-order regime.

The Bar Council said over the weekend that it would campaign for the death penalty to be abolished, arguing that the punishment was barbaric, inhumane and an insufficient deterrent. More...The NST

The Wan family

Lee Sum Wan: Hello can I speak to Annie Wan?
Mr Sori: Yes u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
Its urgent.

Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone!
But what's this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was
involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent
to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may
find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori: I'm Sori.

Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori: I'm Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan: I don't like your tone of voice Mr and
I don't care, give me your name!

Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori!!
I'm SORI!!! you didn't even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan: I told u before I'm Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!!
You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds
a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy.

Mr Sori: Oh I'm so scared (sarcastically). Look I don't care
about your uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks he is top dog and
holding an important position in the company.

Lee Sum Wan: No, Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And
Avery Buddy doesn't work there.

Mr Sori: Like I said I don't care which one of your aunt screws
everybody and I also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!

Lee Sum Wan: Wheech Wan is my sis!
Mr Sori: I don't know which one is your sis! Why in
gods name u think I do!? Look I got work to do and if I'm feeling
mischievous I'll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. "Attention,
someone called and said that anyone's brother just got involved in
an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was
sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways.
The father maybe a somebody but if you're their uncle, you're a
nobody." How about that!?

Lee Sum Wan: Toot....Toot....Toot.................

Friday, March 17, 2006


From English, we now go on to Engrish. For better understanding
of what it is, please scroll down and.....

Pleeeeese enjoy………………………

For more Engrish, pls visit

English oh English!!

Sensei MM, this one's for you.

No wonder the English language is one of the hardest to learn....

Fun for everyone, but especially the lovers of the English language!

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top
of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and
why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room,
polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the
kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite,
and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And
this UP is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP
in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost
1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many
ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you
don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun
comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the
earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so............. Time to shut UP.....!

Source unknown.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Seven Wonders of the World

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student
had not finished her paper yet.

So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my
mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe
we can help".

"The girl hesitated, then read: "I think the 'Seven Wonders
of the World' are:

1. To See...

2. To Hear...

3. To Touch...

4. To Taste...

5. To Feel...

6. To Laugh...

7. And to Love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that
we take for granted are truly wondrous!

A gentle reminder:
That the most precious things in life cannot be built
by hand or bought by man.

Source unknown

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Supermodel Kate Moss

There's been so much hype about Kate Moss of late so thought
I'd post some trivia about her for your reading pleasure.

And while we're still at Brokeback Mountain, it'd be interesting
to watch Kate play a lesbian in the new movie opposite Charlize
Theron. I shall look forward to that to learn a trick or two...

Or perhaps not. Afterall, I still like wine. (For the definition
of wine, pls read the comments in this post.)

Kate Moss with Mario Testino at the Burberry Prorsum show in Milan last week
© Marcio Madeira/VOGUE.COM

KATE MOSS is reportedly considering a £1.5 million offer to pose for a new campaign for Calvin Klein – one of her first ever high profile signings. Since the scandal last year which saw her lose contracts with H&M and Chanel, Kate's earnings have been almost doubled by contracts with Roberto Cavalli, Longchamps, Stella McCartney and Virgin Mobile. Burberry is thought to have rehired her for autumn/winter 2006-7, too, in a deal which should garner her a further £1.05 million. (February 28 2006, AM)

KATE MOSS has apparently been approached by Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee to play one of Dusty Springfield's early lovers in a biopic of the singer's life. In a coupling that is bound to threaten all previous box office records, Charlize Theron is thought to have been lined up to play the lead role in the film, which will feature Springfield's life from her birth in Hampstead to her death from breast cancer in 1999. "Kate is the ideal choice to play the love of Dusty's early life," a source told "She is beautiful, aloof and she epitomises swinging London. There'll probably be sexual scenes but as Ang is behind the cameras they will be very tastefully done. Kate's character breaks Dusty's heart and sparks off the chain of tumultuous relationships that dogged her throughout her life." (February 21 2006, AM)


Tuesday, March 7, 2006

The 78th Academy Awards

'Crash' Walks Away With the Top Prize at the Oscars

LOS ANGELES, March 5 — In a stunning twist, the motion picture academy turned its back on "Brokeback Mountain" and its unflinching gay love story Sunday night, awarding the Oscar for best picture to "Crash," a moody kaleidoscope of racial confrontation in Los Angeles in which every character is at once sympathetic and repulsive.

"Brokeback Mountain," which had taken nearly every major best-picture prize in the run-up to the Oscars, won the awards for its director, Ang Lee, and for best score and adapted screenplay.

"Crash" also won the Oscars for best original screenplay, for its writers, Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco, and for the film's editor, Hughes Winborne.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was named best actor for inhabiting the role of Truman Capote and Reese Witherspoon won best actress for her steely, charming turn as June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line."

And Rachel Weisz was named best supporting actress for her performance in "The Constant Gardener"

For the full story:
'Crash' Walks Away With the Top Prize at the Oscars

Some pictures...

The setting at the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Boulevard for the 78th Academy Awards. Jon Stewart, the host, is at the microphone

Philip Seymour Hoffman earned a best actor Oscar for playing Truman Capote in "Capote." Mr. Hoffman thanked his mother for having raised four children on her own.

Reese Witherspoon won the Oscar for best actress for playing June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line

With the first award of the night, George Clooney was a winner for best supporting actor for "Syriana." Mr. Clooney was the first person to be nominated for acting and directing awards for two different films in the same year.

Rachel Weisz took home the statuette for best supporting actress for "The Constant Gardener

The best director Oscar went to Ang Lee for "Brokeback Mountain

Ben Stiller, in green suit, presented an Oscar to the visual effects team from "King Kong," which won three technical awards.

Robert Altman, director of films including "Nashville" and "The Player," was presented with the evening's honorary award

Paul Haggis and Cathy Schulman, the producers of "Crash," accepting the award for best picture.